Monday, November 30, 2009


We honestly didn't expect the "Black Friday" print giveaway to go over as well as it did. The prints went quickly! So, to further opur thank you, we are offering a SECOND one.

If you are curious if you DID order the first one, and arent sure if you ordered in time to receive it, we will supply you with THIS one instead. So, ALL orders that were placed between Nov 26 to Nov 30 WILL get a print, whether it was the first one or this one. Now, act quickly as there already arent that many of these left!!!!


2. Look at the 30-40% temporary price reduction on over 20 limited prints!

3. Purchase ANY print (it doesn't have to be one of the sale items) and recieve, along with your order, ONE free signed & numbered print (limited edition of 100)!*

*Limit of ONE free print per HOUSEHOLD. While supplies last.

*NOTE: If you ordered the FIRST free print, YES, you are still eligible to receive this one as well:)


Saturday, November 28, 2009

No, sir, you AINT cool for interrupting me!!

So, this morning, I woke up to something awesome. Thanks to Quint (AKA Eric Vespe), I'm on the front page of AINTITCOOL NEWS!! I had a pretty good feeling that myself, Viggo Mortensen, Michael Cera, and a shitty remake all had something in common! Now i know for sur----wait, oh great, thanks, Kanye...what a DICK! GRRRRRRRR!

Well, regardless of how precious Precious is, HERE is a link to the awesome article
And you should FOLLOW Quint on Twitter.

Hope to see you all at the screening on December 1st at the Alamo Ritz in AUSTIN, TX!!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

I'll be in AUSTIN, TX releasing TWO NEW MOVIE POSTERS!!!

7 Color Screenprint on black paper. 24" x 36"

Man alive, I had a hard time with that last blog. So many chest-memories and torso-travels made my head spin. So to make that long story short, here is a short-form version of the previous post (which, if you feel like reading about my long-term love affair with a SHIRT, is up for reading HERE)

(Direct link to the long story of my shirt love, which i think you should be required to read if you want to be my friend):

I will be doing a signing and appearance in Austin, TX, on Dec 1st, at 7 pm at the ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE RITZ MOVIE THEATER, where we will be debuting and selling a limited edition TREMORS (one of my favorite true american monster movies) screenprinted poster, as well as an exclusive limited BASKET CASE poster and t-shirt!!! The Alamo Drafthouse has been on my list of places to experience movies before I die and this makes it even better that I get a chance to actually be a part of the experience. Check out the posters and shirt below, and come by to say hi to me from 7 PM - 8:30PM, and stay and WATCH TREMORS after the signing at 8:45!!! its gonna rule the school.


Coinciding with the release of both a TREMORS Limited Edition Poster as well as a BASKET CASE limited edition poster (and t-shirt) designed by ALEX PARDEE

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema
320 E 6th Street
Austin, TX
Tuesday, DECEMBER 1, @ 7PM - 8:30PM, Followed by a theatrical screening of TREMORS @ 8:45!


Additionally, i believe the posters will be available for sale online starting DECEMBER 1st exclusively over at MONDO TEES!

Detail of the Graboid!

And for laughs....the original rough sketch. Since the original theatrical poster was an AWESOME take on the JAWS poster, I wanted to have some fun with the design and do an homage to the JAWS 2 poster;)


7 Color Screenprint, 24" x 36".

Detail of Bilial!

And the shirt:

Like I said earlier, this Basket Case gig is a milestone in my life and if you have ever seen any photo of me from the last 15 years, you will know why. Read more about that HERE

Hope to see you there!!!!

A 15 Year LOVE AFFAIR with a SHIRT is being RENEWED!

December 1 marks the end of an era, and the dawn of a new beginning in my life.
December 1 is the day that will be equivalent to a lesbian shaving her heterosexual head in protest of her own guilt.
December 1 will be the day I raise my flag at Iwo Jima. The day that I instantly re-visit puberty. In short, it's a fucking MILESTONE.
It's no secret to anyone that I have had a One-Man Sisterhood-of-the-Traveling-Pants thing going on with my Basket Case t-shirt for years. Much like the women of the Siterhood's magical pants that fluctuated in size and somehow fit both the fat AND the stupid perfectly, my Basket Case shirt has always fit snuggly around my torso, despite my rapidly changing weight due to my 6 unwanted pregnancies and my spontaneous urges to enter hot dog eating contests.

So where did this everlasting fabric of fun originate in the first place? Well, to quote my favorite football player, Tommy Wiseau, "It's quite an interesting story." In 1994 I discovered the internet. Probably later than most people, but nonetheless, there it was. I stumbled upon a T-shirt company online called Rotten Cotton Graphics, who sold amazing bootleg horror movie shirts during an era of my life that consisted of me wearing more black than Venom and watching more horror movies than the MPAA. But because of the "GREAT SCARE OF BUYING THINGS ONLINE BECAUSE OF MYSTERIOUS MISUNDERSTOOD THIEVERY OF 1994", I had no way of getting these perfect chest-covers, as this was even (GASP) pre-Hot Topic days. I think the coolest store in the mall was fucking MERVYN's for shit's sake. But then, though I couldn't order the shirts online, I noticed that Rotten Cotton originated in Antioch, CA! In addition to Antioch being the most populated home for famous kidnap-victims, it was also where i lived! So the hunt began. A hunt that spanned like 4 minutes, since they ended up residing about a half a mile from my home. The Rotten Cotton folk had my dream job, as their duties consisted of A) Watching horror movies, B) Selling Bootleg shirts of their favorites, and C) Giving 2 fucks about anything.
And until I started my own apparel company years later and started doing my best effort at shameless self-promotion, Rotten Cotton was my sole supplier of everything that graced my abdomen, with my very first purchase being Basket Case & Bad Taste and my last ones being Henry & Phantasm. For some reason, Basket Case was the sole survivor of the 30 or so Rotten Cotton shirts I gathered over the years. For 15 years I have worn that shirt at least once a week, and, like its Traveling Pants Counterparts, it has been around the world with my consistently fluctuating chest. We went everywhere together. In a way, we mimicked the very movie we were advertising, considering it's about a boy and his killer symbiotic twin named Bilial. Speaking of, if you have never seen Basket Case, you have some serious catching up to do if we are ever going to be friends. Heres a starter kit:

Well, I may be rambling, as trying to fit in 15 years of memories into one little blog entry is proving to be difficult. But it all leads to this upcoming moment in starving artist history. Exactly 15 years after my original fanboy-purchase of a bootleg shirt from one of my favorite horror movies of all time:

On December 1st, Mondo Tees, in conjunction with the Alamo Drafthouse and Basket Case Director Frank Henenlotter himself, will be debuting a brand new, OFFICIAL BASKET CASE SHIRT & POSTER THAT I DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS RELEASE AS A COMPLETELY HONORED THANK YOU TO FRANK FOR GIVING ME A GOOD HANDFUL OF CINEMATIC AMAZINGNESS OVER THE YEARS!
Now, don't get me wrong, one of the reasons why I have LOVED that shirt my entire adult life is because i think, in addition to the movie being awesome, the DESIGN of the original poster and shirt is UNTOUCHABLE. Its perfect. In color, or in black and white. Doesnt matter. It's flawless. But regardless, I gave it my best shot in hopes of doing Basket Case as much vintage horror justice as I possibly could. Both this shirt and the limted 7-color screenprinted, 24" x 36" poster will be for sale starting DECEMBER 1st exclusively over at MONDO TEES!

Btw....theres MORE secrets to come. In like 20 minutes. Yah, thats right, im fasttracking this shit. Word.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Look who’s come in from the cold just in time for the holiday festivities. My Pink Flocked Walrus rider (11”) is the third edition of the original figure produced in conjunction with the tenth anniversary of Upper Playground. As with my other Walrus Riders, this one features bendy arms and a removable tusk which fits nicely into the rider’s hand. Limited to just 100 pieces, the Pink Flocked Walrus Rider will drop on Black Friday (11.27.09) for $114 only from THATS TODAY RIGHT NOW!!!!


Direct Link to purchase:

And To celebrate the drop and the joy of the season, The Loyal Subjects have put together a happenin’ Christmas Party and signing with MEEEE on Saturday December 5th at Goodfellas restaurant on Melrose. Hosted by Goodfellas, the evening will feature pink flocked Christmas Trees, tunes from DJ Counterstryke, surprises, and of course killer Hors D’oeuvres from the amazing Goodfellas chefs. Arrive early, as we expect the party to easily reach the 350 capacity. See you on the 5th!


7455 Melrose Ave.

Los Angeles, CA 90046

323.658.mobb (6622)

Here's the original poem/story of the legendary Walrus Rider!

"Born with legs of a golden tint,

He'd walk, he'd run, he'd jump and sprint,

There's nothing much he COULDN'T do,

With legs of gold and wooden shoes,

The girls all loved his limbs and knees,

For no one else had legs like these,

But jealousy arose with some,

Cause' HE was having all the fun!

So late one night upon his slumber,

Darkness drenched with rain and thunder.

There he slept and dreamt of blondes,

But when he woke HIS LEGS WERE GONE!

Who would do this tragic thing?

What good is a bee if a bee cannot sting?

And what good is HE without legs at all?

Now he cannot move and he's not that tall!

So he hopped on the back of his bestest friend,

And together they ride as he seeks his REVENGE!"


What's the best thing about running an online business during an economy like this? I mean, aside from the overwhelming number of PHP Groupies and Hypertext chicks that flock to us because of our integrated shopping cart coding? Well, the best thing about this type of business is that we can have a BLACK FRIDAY SALE ON A BROWN THURSDAY and get this SHIT goin EARLY!!

That's right, an entire day before some of you hoarders line up at Wal-Mart to get a free pair of the wrong sized shoes when you buy a 30 dollar flat screen, you can ON-LINE UP at and check out the new (temporary) slashed prices on over 20 Different Signed Limited Giclee Prints. As an appreciation to everyone who has supported us this year (which has been huge thanks to you), we have temporarily reduced the prices to some of our most popular prints by almost 40% off of the original price!
(*Cue the Sham-Wow whore-punching guy now, stage left)
"And THAT'S NOT ALL! Hate spending money, even on stuff that's on sale, and NOT getting FREE SHIT??!! Well, so do I! That's why I have convinced the handsome (kinda) guys over at Zerofriends to throw in something FREE with ANY print purchase!!! Want a print of a guy with a hand for a head??!! FREE EXTRA PRINT! Want a print of a gay monster?!! WHAM! FREE EXTRA PRINT! There is NO escape from a bombardment of FREEEEEEEE! I know you are saying "Well, Sham-Wow Whore-Puncher, free is good and all, but what exactly am I getting free??" Good thing you asked, asshole! Let me tell you! What you will be getting is ONE of ONE HUNDRED individually signed and numbered, 8' x 10' exclusive Giclee print of Alex Pardee's painting "They Have Always Been Here", which looks like THIS!!!"

So yah, let me re-cap what that crazy whore-hitter said.


2. Look at the 30-40% temporary price reduction on over 20 limited prints!

3. Purchase ANY print (it doesn't have to be one of the sale items) and recieve, along with your order, ONE free signed & numbered print (limited edition of 100)!*


*Limit of ONE free print per HOUSEHOLD. While supplies last.

Oh, and while you are looking around the site, check out THESE NEW HOODIES WE JUST GOT IN TIME FOR THE WINTER HOLIDAYS!!!


The design that Greg Simkins & I did is now available on the back of a hoodie in 2 different colors and has 2 huge "Scared Friends" logos EMBROIDERED on the front! They turned out amazing. check em: CLICK THE PICS TO PURCHASE


Direct link to view/purchase the SCARED FRIENDS HOODIE NAVY BLUE:

Direct link to view/purchase the SCARED FRIENDS HOODIE SLATE:


Another of my faves, my Father Killer image printed on back, and a dope hand-written ZF logo EMBROIDERED on the front! Check it.


Direct link to view/purchase the FATHER KILLER Hoodie:

Lastly, 2 new prints are available. One was previously an Upper Playground Exclusive but we found a few left, and the other is a brand new print thats never been previously released! Here they are

Anyway, why are you reading this far down?? Everything might actually be gone if you spend any more time reading my meandering banter!! So, in closing, HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM ALL OF US HERE AT ZEROFRIENDS! WE ARE DEFINITELY THANKFUL FOR EVERYONE OF YOU. Yes, even YOU, guy-who-hates-us-publicly;)

Thank you,


Friday, November 20, 2009

Designer Con & Mexican Poker

SATURDAY, (AKA TODAY!) NOV 21, 2009, Zerofriends will have a booth at DESIGNER-CON in Pasadena, CA, alongside other Zerofriends collaborators like Craola & Skinner. So go say hi and pick up some new ZF stuffs:)



300 East Green St

Pasadena, CA 91101

More info by CLICKING HERE

I, unfortunately, will not be in attendance because I am currently up in Vancouver, Canada, playing Professional 3-Card Taco Bell Poker. And check this shit out! I just won the 2nd Annual Imitation Mexican Canadian Showcase with this STELLAR hand! a perfect Straight Flush, baby!

See yous soons.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Craola, Rorshach, Jeremy Fish, & Creepshow!


Yah, i used to watch The Electric Company. But when I was younger i thought that catch phrase would be a lot better if it was actually saying "Hey EWE-GUYS" and was being directed at some half sheep-half human things. Like this:

So anyway, quickly, i just MOVED again for the 2nd time in 3 months. Not that bad, actually better, but that means i have no internet for a minute and my life is frazzled. So i have to be quick, but I wanted to keep you in the loop on all things awesome. Heres a few things to look out for NOWWWWW:

1. HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN, and a happy belated halloween birthday to my favorite German-Cuban-Pinhead-Fearing-Hilarious Nicole. Since I couldn't be there in person, I made you this heart out of pumpkin shit, and then ate it in your honor. It was delicious.

1.B) My mind is crazy, but i also think it might have been Gris Grimly's birthday too. damn i missed that if it was. horrible friend = me.

2. TOMORROW IS GREG "CRAOLA" SIMKINS' NEW ART SHOW OPENING AT GALLERY 1988 in LA!!!! The concept is great and the new work is INSANELY BEAUTIFUL. I would shed a tear if i had a heart. Go see his show tomorrow, NOV 3. Your eyes will bleed inspiration.
Here is the flyer:

3. And after the Craola show, why not go hang out down in Laguna Beach with LC and shit and go be equally amazed at my good friend Jeremy Fish's very first MUSEUM installation show!! Damn, Jeremy has grown so much and it's so refreshing to see him consistently moving forward and staying fresh in the art world when a lot of people become stagnant. I had a chance to go to Jeremy's studio in San Francisco last week before he left for the show, where I checked out the work and was blown away (that's us competing in grizzled-ness above). His composition and use of colors have doubled in coolness. I'm pretty stoked being able to first observe Jeremy's growth as a fan for years, and then more recently, as a friend. So yah, go check out Jeremy's show at the Laguna Museum of Art on November 8.

One of my favorite pieces from the show. How many dimensions do you think that painting is!? i'll give you a hint. its only TWO!

4. We, as in Zerofriends, finally got a dope plain logo tee available for sale on the Zerofriends Store, which you can buy and view HERE NOW!

It's available in white, black and silver. And it makes a good Rorshach mask (with ears)!

5. Lastly, back in mid 2008, i got asked to do a couple of drawings/screenshots for an online episode of the Creepshow spinoff, called Creepshow Raw, which was directed by Wilmer Valderama (yes, THAT Wilmer). The dude is rad and way into horror, and coupling that with the words "Creepshow" and getting a chance to draw Michael Madsen, I obliged. Well, the episode just got released over on, but i embedded it here if you wanna check it out. And as a nod to the original, i drew the same exact house from the opening of the original Creepshow movie. Enjoy:)

Alright thank you all, i have to go finish moving. Or stop moving, one or the other.