Feeding you tweets till i get time to update again....:)
- @FSEANCC yah man, a 20 minute nap when youre exhausted can be more damaging than AIDS #
- 03:27 There's nothin like walking up my porch after a long day only to accidentally step on 2 snails having slow sex. Goodnight. #
- 03:40 @AesopRockWins having wah wah pedals on my feet would actually be fitting in most situations in my life. Especially at funerals. #
- 03:43 The incredible new cop drama for old people, Antiques Roadshow, is actually also an amazing NTSC formatted sleeping pill. #
- 10:49 @nerdist I prefer to call magicians "wizards" especially in Santa rosa. It seems to boost their self esteem when they make balloon animals #
- 10:53 I don't understand the pizza whisperer commercial at ALL. I can't comprehend the idea of an "out of control pizza" in the first place. #
- 11:46 @cyborgturkey perhaps those ashes were actually the reMains of a guy named Mac who killed himself for being useless after only one year. #
- 12:29 @babydropper I can think of a better way. Starts with A, ends with Ntioch. #
- 12:54 Came out to my sisters house for Easter and uncomfortably realized that she moved. I should call my family more. #
- 13:00 Being friends w/ horror fans everyone is all stoked that Easter is "zombie day" But I hate beards on my zombies so fuck that Get a new day! #
- 13:58 My sister knows ill eat anything with cheese therefore everything has cheese so I won't complain about anything. Even the soda has cheese. #
- 14:00 Ps. I don't LIKE cheese, I just suffer from a disease that makes my mouth unfortunately magnetic to certain dairy products. Mainly cheese. #
- 14:10 My sister just proved that if you squish enough slices of cheese together, you can grate them. As shown here. [?] #
- 14:12 Why didn't the cheese picture work? Attempt 2. twitpic.com/38clo #
- 14:24 @yakballz haha and often times it does!! #
- 14:27 Holy shit my sisters new house has the most AWESOME furniture setup. Jealous I am. twitpic.com/38dpi #
- 14:35 @theOtter agreed, but we tried feeding the cheese sandwich to my grandma and she requested it be tinier and kind of chewed already. #
- 14:46 Damn, nick lachey is so amazingly witty and deep at the same time. Example: "who needs 31 flavors? I only need pistachio!" waka waka. Die. #
- 14:47 @lungpiece you dared. And I did. Done. #
- 15:14 @babydropper hey man I think u need your glasses, that's CW and Johnny. Jesuses would NEVER!!! #
- 15:34 My dad just took off his jacket to reveal his shirt that states "grumpy is my GOOD mood". I love my dad. #
- 15:44 Making 2 "kill myself" jokes within an hour at a family gathering is apparently not funny, even though my timing was perfect both times. #
- 15:57 I know why Tyler perry makes family movies. I see all the comedy around me here and Im imagining my grandma as a black guy and it IS funny! #
- 18:00 @Manazz probably the same magazine I was reading at my sisters house. #
- 18:08 Damn, Easter shaved off like 6 hours of my work day! Ok gonna fire myself! Finally back to work here: twitpic.com/38s3o #
- 18:19 in case you didnt see this 2 weeks ago, I broke into Shia LaBeoufs house and videotaped that shit. bit.ly/rMX5P #
- 18:31 @babydropper why are you wearing bunny ears? #
- 18:40 @Jayreason damn, you did that just to make me somehow hungry even though i just ate like a garbage bag full of cheese-potatoes. #
Follow my trail of spillage HERE
