HURLEY X ALEX PARDEE Part 2

Coming Soon from Me and Hurley, together again.
I'm not kidding. This is serious.
Pay attention.

ZED's Dead, Babe. Zed's Dead.

Zed's not really dead.
Don't EVER listen to Bruce Willis. He's a liar. He told me Die Hard 4 was going to be good. He even specifically used that word, GOOD. What a dicking liar.

My friend, Michel Gagne, however, is neither a liar, nor dead.
He is very much alive, and he is one of the most prolific and beautifully unique animators working today. He's worked on some of my favorite films, including the Iron Giant, Osmosis Jones and the Clone Wars. He also writes and draws a fistload of books, like Insanely Twisted Rabbits, which i am sure you have heard of because somehow, he drew bunnies with spinal menangitis and made them beautiful enough for everyone in the world to discover and appreciate.
Anyway, why do i bring up this wonderful Canadian's name?
Well, because his new issue of ZED is coming out soon, and he asked me to do a pin-up drawing for the issue. I happily obliged, conjured up as much cute blood as i could, and drew me some Zed.

Keep your eyes open for ZED #9 and check out Michel's art on his own site, GAGNE INT.

SURU LA X MOI

The only LA solo gallery show with all new pieces that i am having this year will be at SURU
on Melrose on July 12th.

More info soon, but for now, peep a new SURU Logo T-shirt design that i did for them above.

word.

Citrus Report Interview

I don't talk to people through telephones very much. Apologetically, that includes my parents and good friends most of the time. Not solely because I'm a dick, but because I have seen every Asian horror movie about unexplainable technology ghosts that exist inside fiber optics and satellite signals and, even though NOT ONE OF THEM makes an ounce of believable sense, I am convinced that bad technology ghosts are real. And they camp out inside my Blackberry.

So fuck that.

However, Brad from the Citrus Report secured a LAN line that we ran through many poltergeist tests and determined that it was safe for me to transmit my voice signals through without the fear of getting eaten by an imaginary thing that makes loud noises and looks like a dumb kid.

With that said, here is an interview that I did for the Citrus Report shortly before the opening of OWLEX in Portland back in December.

GO CHECK IT OUT HEREEEEEE

Photo by Jon Dragonette

FInally...Alex Pardee x ZeroFriends HOODIE!!!!

Hola everyone.

I tried cupping my right hand next to my mouth and screaming this announcement upon the world, but that took place 2 nights ago on my fence and so far the only person to respond to it was Henry, the bum who lives by the creek, hides in the bushes and pretends he is a duck so passers-by throw him bread. And he didnt even want to BUY anything. Dang.

So therefore i am now turning toward the internet.

We at Zerofriends are proud to announce our very first hoodie!!
Featuring an extremely close representation of one of my favorite recent pieces on the back, and 2 new, mystical editions to the Zerofriends family on the front!
Why is it my favorite? Well, because usually i paint naked men with only TWO owls coming out of their shoulders, and this time i went the extra mile and made THREE! Plus, this was done during my sleep deprivation period, so i kinda dont even remember doing it, which makes it cooler.

Full Zip. White Hoodie. American Apperal. 2 Sleeves that easily rip off if you are stronger than me, cuz i cant rip them off. I tried.

$50.00

Available in Men's sizes S to XL.

ALSO, IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST ORDER WITH ZEROFRIENDS, BE SURE TO TYPE IN "HELLO" AS A COUPON CODE AT CHECKOUT TO SAVE 10%!!!

Go cop one of them thangs right now HERE!

I need your ASS...istance

Hola everyone.
Alex Pardee here.
I to ask a huge favor from anyone / everyone.

A year or so ago, me, along with a group of my good friends and collaborators started ZEROFRIENDS, an art/video/music/business collective, which has been somewhat of a dream of all of ours for years.
Though ZEROFRIENDS will eventually expand larger than Raven Simone's stretch pants, for the last few months we have focused on creating exciting, high-quality apparel and Giclee art prints of some of my favorite work.
Things have been going rad, business is increasing, and we appreciate all of the support that you guys have been showing us, but when we started ZEROFRIENDS, we made a goal that within a year, ONE of the following events would occur:

1. Zerofriends would make it to the NBA Playoffs, despite Darren's bunk ankle.
2. Zerofriends would appear on that heinous dance show that Randy Jackson thinks he's part of where every ethnicity in the world wears outfits from old episodes of IN LIVING COLOR and pretends to have epilepsy in unison, and then people talk about it or something.
3. Zerofriends would save a cat from a burning time machine.
4. Zerofriends would have more customers and friends than we ever thought possible.

Unfortunately, throughout the year the first 3 have been eliminated from the list due to certain aspects of life, so we are left with #4:

"Zerofriends would have more customers and friends than we ever thought possible."

This is where you come in.
I need your help in spreading the word about Zerofriends so we can continue to increase our quality and quantity of products for you, my faithful supporters.
We have some exciting new projects and products coming up in the future that may only be possible with your help with spreading the word and letting people know about Zerofriends.

Please Re-post this bulletin, verbally tell your friends, write "ZEROFRIENDS IS NOT SUPER DUMB" on your forehead, and / or, more importantly, take a minute to visit the store and check out the art and the products that we have for sale.
Without you, Zerofriends would just be...umm...Zero.

PS. We created a secret coupon specifically for anyone who is awesome enough to read this whole thing.

USE COUPON CODE "HELLO" TO RECIEVE 10% ON YOUR FIRST ORDER (if you're already a customer, you can still use the "HELLO" code on your next order).

Thanks again for all of your support.
Word.

Alex Pardee
Zerofriends.com
http://www.myspace.com/alexpardee

CHECK OUT ZEROFRIENDS HERE.

Extremely Limited "Guilty Smurf" Giclee

"Guilty Smurf" Giclee Print
by ME!
Limited Edition of 26

What’s cute, blue, as tall as 3 apples, and has an extremeley checkered past?
YES! Of COURSE I’m talking about Guilty Smurf!
One of the most secretive and mysterious of all of the Smurfs, Guilty Smurf kept to himself the entire time all of the other Smurfs were basking in the glory of the limelight from the Saturday morning cartoon show and the popular toys. In fact, there wasn’t a single MENTION of Guilty Smurf in all of Smurf-lore until after the…incident.
Envy had built up inside Guilty’s soul as he sat in the darkest mushroom apartment, silently pining for the attention and fame that the other Smurfs were getting. But he was too prideful and stubborn to join the party after they were famous.
So instead…he sat. And HATED.
After 6 seasons of cartoons, he couldn’t take their arrogance any longer.
In one smurfy afternoon, Guilty emerged from his mushroom abode and bare-handedly slaughtered all 24 of those famous tiny blue fame-whores.
And then, he did something the others could never do.
He murdered Gargamel and his pet cat Azrael, too.
With blood drenching his blue hands, Guilty Smurf returned to the now-quiet (and cancelled) Smurf village and slept quietly and happily forever.

ZeroFriends is celebrating the 20th anniversary of Guilty Smurf’s massacre with an extremely limited Giclee print featuring the only known portrait of Guilty Smurf, painted by Me for the recent “Gag Me With A Toon” show @ Melt Gallery.

There are only 26 prints. One print for each Smurf that Guilty slaughtered.
Each print is hand signed by Me, numbered, and is dedicated to the loss of one of the fallen Smurf brethren.

Printed with archival inks on Velvet Rag Fine Art Paper.

The Numbered Prints and the corresponding Smurf/Victim that are available are as follows. PLEASE NO REQUESTS FOR A SPECIFIC SMURF / NUMBER. YOU WILL RECEIVE THE PRINT IN THE ORDER THAT WE RECEIVE THE PURCHASES. LIMIT ONE PER CUSTOMER. THANK YOU.


#1. Papa Smurf
#2. Lazy Smurf
#3. Handy Smurf
#4. Brainy Smurf
#5. Clumsy Smurf
#6. Tailor Smurf
#7. Farmer Smurf
#8. Dreamy Smurf
#9. Harmony Smurf
#10. Painter Smurf
#11. Hefty Smurf
#12. Vanity Smurf
#13. Jokey Smurf
#14. Smurfette
#15. Poet Smurf
#16. Grouchy Smurf
#17. Baker Smurf
#18. Greedy Smurf
#19. Baby Smurf
#20. Grandpa Smurf
#21. Nanny Smurf
#22. Clockwork Smurf
#23. Tracker Smurf
#24. Wild Smurf
#25. Gargamel
#26. Azrael

get one here at http://www.ZEROFRIENDS.COM

For years of my life, all I ate was TOP RAMN.

Bay area independent rapper TOP.R is an extremely talented artist and a very interesting person.
The very first day I met him, around 1995, I was at the Albany wall painting with Use, Quake, Posh, Ole, Dalek and a couple of other people, when TOPR, who then may or may not have had pink hair and just got out of jail for the night, gave me a nice big John Elway smile and said "Who are you supposed to be, faggot?"

This was the beginning of our beautiful relationship.

Flash forward like the new season of Lost. Its 12 years later. We've worked together a ton of times, he's lived on my couch and got everyone sick, we've travelled together, and complained together. Our relationship has, indeed, matured.
I know this for sure because when I presented him with the artwork for his new album, he responded with "This is what you call art, faggot?"

So, now, as loveable as he is, and as good of friends as we have become, i am very proud to be a part of TOPR's new album, "The Marathon Of Shame", which I think is his best work to date. This is his 7th album, and it's being released tonight at Topr's record release party at 12 Galaxies in San Francisco.
Also Performing are resident rad-asses:
DJ Quest, Conceit, Ras One, and more.

12 Galaxies
2565 Mission St
$10

here is the artwork and also, SF WEEKLY ran a review of the album too, so check it.

I've Been Meaning to do this for a while

So I've been staring at this huge severed whale dick for like 4 days, just smelling it rot. My friend came back from the arctic and thought i would want it since i have been watching that Bizarre Foods show religiously. its nice to look at, but at first I didnt think there was any way in hell i would eat it. Surprisingly, though, i think decaying whale dick must be what they make everything with at Bath and Body works, because it smells so fucking good! So...since everyone is gone tonight, and because i doubt that it will even be solid after a couple more days, i took a bite.....

But that's not what i've been meaning to do.
A ton of people have asked me what album covers and stuff that I have designed and to post them, so i managed to gather up most of em (there's a few secrets out there still;) and put them up in my photos section on my myspace page.
http://www.myspace.com/alexpardee


If you're curious, check em out. I'm gonna post a bunch more art pretty soon too, since its a lot easier than updating a website that i have no idea how to update.
Goodnight.

Alex
http://www.zerofriends.com

New IN FLAMES artwork finally revealed

So, as i wasn't allowed to even mention this before, I have been working feverishly with one of the greatest modern metal bands in the world, IN FLAMES, on their new album artwork and packaging for their new album, "A Sense of Purpose".
Those guys are not only Swedish, but they are also amazing and hilarious. Its like a heavy-metal 3-for!
The cover artwork finally got revealed today.
It was a very involved project, as IN FLAMES had a very specific vision for the look of this album, and i had a LOT to live up to since their last album was designed and illustrated by none other than one of my major influences, Derek Hess!
Stay tuned, as we did a whole illustrated 20 page booklet to go with it. IN FLAMES' "A Sense Of Purpose" will be released in April. Check it.




I love you

AL-EX-POSURE!

Starting to really gain some momentum on the development of the Chadam animation project. The stuff that we are working on is looking amazing. More to come. I got a write up in the new issue of Alternative Press, so check it out if you are waiting in Borders or Barnes and Noble for the fat guy to move away from the drinking fountain so you can get by and get to the restroom.
UP reppin yo!

Click to see it in a legible fashion.


And in case you want to add it to your collection of all of my criminal records, here is what the cover looks like.

Honestly

I don't know why I do this to my eyes, but I went and saw AVP2 a little while ago, and once again, the advertising fell a little short of the actual product.

This is the poster that was actually marketed:


And this is what the movie was actually about:

Sleeping is overrated

Sometimes I paint in public, often times poorly because i crack under pressure. And sometimes, my friend Z-man from Gurp City raps, often times incredibly, because he is awesome. Every once in a while, because of brand new technology called Final Cut Pro, we can perform TOGETHER. And i painted so fast this time, I managed to finish before his song was done, AND i changed my clothes in the middle of that shit.
Enjoy.

Here is me painting at the OWLEX show @ Upper PLayground PDX in Portland, OR.

OWLEX in Port-o-potty Land

It's about that time again.
Yes, in addition to it being time for me to switch to Sanka (if they still even make that), its art show time.
Tomorrow, December 6th, at 6pm, I will be debuting 30 new art pieces at Upper Playground in Portland, OR.
What is so special about these 30 pieces, other than they are some of the most expensive pieces of toilet paper you can buy?
Well, I have had months to get ready for this show. However, because of my workload, i ended up not having ANY time to get any paintings done. So i decided to use that to my advantage, and try to be all science-experimenty, and I made a decision that would almost cost me my life, and most certainly my health.
I decided that for the entire month of November, I would work on my commercial work stuff during the day, and then at night, when i am supposed to be sleeping, i will instead stay up and paint and draw for the UP show. That way, i'll see how i perform under pressure and natural hallucinegins.
It went ok for a while, but after a couple of weeks, i wasn't doing very well. I was nauseated, shaky, my heart felt like it was shivering and screaming at me like some horrible American Idol audition. My thighs burned and my hands felt frozen. I didn't NOT sleep, i think that would be impossible, or at least it would mean I'm feeling guilty from a hit n run (see The Machinist). But i limited myself to about 2-3 hours at the most per night.
I thought it might make my work shittier, but in fact, the experiment seemed to work pretty well, because for the first time almost ever, i am pretty happy with what i produced. And the lack of sleep just made me not care if i was painting something shitty. I simply found myself almost sleepwalking through paintings, snapping awake to find out that I painted a pair of square-shaped bank robbers riding on the hood of a tentacle-faced eskimo. Ok, I can deal with that.
So yah, thats how it went. And, with the help of Adam Peterson, I was able to realize my new favorite made-up-in-the-third-trimester-of-my-sleep-deprivation character, Owlex, in tres dimesiones, just in time for the show. In case you are wondering who the Owlex character is, its my superhero alter-ego, who is a skinny, savage half-naked superhero who wears a homemade owl mask and protects animals from the rough and grimy streets of NY. And he can do magic. yahhhhhh.
Anyway, if you are in or around Portland, OR, come down to Upper Playground and check it out.
Oh, and i painted some stuff on the walls, too.
Happy Hannukah and Early Christmas, yo.
I love you.







ANd here is me painting one of the pieces while CocoRosie sings to you about werewolves and her schizofranic father.