Friday, November 15, 2013

The Console Wars means FREE PRINTS!

In the late 80's, the Sega Genesis promised to do what "NindenDIDN't", and then fizzled into the ether after a decade-long battle, momentarily calming the vast Pixel Sea that Nintendo had claimed. Soon after, Sony emerged with a confident threat that "we weren't ready", and they were right. While Nintendo continued to make children happy with mustachioed men, ocarinas and silly cart racing, Sony's Playstation kept the adult consumers' soup warm and tasty until one day Microsoft decided to enter the ring and shit in everyone's soup bowls. 

Then, it was back and forth, and back and forth until everyone seemed to be on the same playing field, playing the same games, holding hands online, no longer alienating their friends for only having "the shitty old first generation Xbox360" or for choosing to play GTA 5 on PS3 because those controls make it easier to cheat. All was calm, even if everyone online just rage-quits or tells each other to fuck themselves and eat bags of dicks for unfair level boosting, then laughs about it in the morning.
However, starting today, November 15, 2013, THE GREAT CONSOLE WARS have begun again. 
First up to strike is the new-favored Playstation 4, unleashing its early offense until next week when XBOX-One tries heartily to take back it's crown that it once had in the early 360 days. Then, only time will tell who is prettier, who can punch harder, and who has a better strategy for taking all of our money.

And even before either of these titans goes head to head over this holiday season, everyone already has a favorite.

So to commemorate these favorites and these brave soldiers who are about to jump headfirst into battle, with only your feeble hands controlling their fates, we would like to ask you to "pick a favorite", and get that favorite for FREE with any purchase of $10 on Can't pick a favorite? Need to represent both sides of the battle? No problem, just spend $20 and get BOTH of these console warriors to stand by your side while you dish out head shots and patiently wait for the next Uncharted or Gears of War. When the smoke clears next year, we'll see which warrior fought harder, and which system emerges victorious, but remember, whoever wins, we lose (time, money and social lives). 

By Alex Pardee
5" x 5"
Open edition giclee print
Available FREE with purchase from NOW  through Friday Nov 22nd. 

Here's how to receive your FREE "Console Warriors" print:

1. Go to our brand new, revamped "ZEROFRIENDS" online store at
2. Spend a total (before shipping) of $10 or more on ANYTHING in the store.
3. Upon check-out, type in the "comments" section which Console Warrior you would like (XBOX or PLAYSTATION).
4. Complete your checkout. No can't, and don't have to add the free print to your shopping cart, it will be automatically shipped to you with your order as long as your order was placed between NOW (Friday, Nov 15th) and Nov 22 as was over $10 before shipping). Any order over $20 will automatically get BOTH "Console Warrior" prints for FREE. 

*NOTE: If you do not note which print you would like we will automatically send you one of our choice. 

**NOTE: Limit ONE EACH of the prints per oder (Limit total of 2 different prints).