I have some terrible news to announce. But guess what? I've never felt this awesome telling you something this terrible. No, Joaquin Phoenix and I didn't finally finish our dubstep album. BE PATIENT!!!
Instead, I am terribly proud to tell you that I teamed up with my all-time favorite VHS misfit wizards at EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE to create a little drawing of the only human on the fucking planet that actually DESERVES to use the term "swag", considering his literal invention of it spontaneously on the Barbie-Dance Club back in 1988. That's right. After 4 years of begging the heavens to let me have SOMETHING to do with EIT & their 13 year old inhuman mascot, all of the Jerry Maguire's shined their lasers on my prayers and I got to draw DUANNNNNNEEEE! If you haven't been star-punched in the face by Duane's fashion sense, his eye for trends, and his mutantly perfect wiggling, watch...this....now.
And now that you have leveled up, and perhaps even want to be another sponsor to add to Duane's shirt-patch collection, here is my rendition of my favorite 7th grader ever, which to me seemed a little TOO UNCANNILY like Aladdin Sane so here is ALADDIN DUANE!
The maniacs over at EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE are going to be selling these Duane shirts on their site SOON and are also getting ready to journey on their new LIVE quest, the "ALL DOGS GO ON TOUR" Tour to launch their new DVD and generally weird the entire world out by partying and sacrificing people along the way. Please please please, you will thank your eyes and ears if you make it to one of their shows, so GO! Trust me, because I'm made of mustard.
And spend a day watching a thousand of their videos on THEIR SITE. #Bubbles.
