Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Full Comic Con Release Schedule!



It's been 350 something days since I've smelled the sweat of 100,000 nerds and that HAS to change! So guess what? I'm gearing up my nostrils, packing up and going to San Diego Comic Con!

Considering that here in America we have little access to other tortuous "character-building" rituals, San Diego Comic Con is the closest thing I can imagine to walking on hot coals, stabbing yourself in the cheek with a barbed bamboo shard and circumcising yourself. In other words, It's AWESOME! Comic Con's a positive life-changing event that you should experience at least once in your life.  So, if this is your first time going, good for you! It's about time. You will now be one of the 100,000 weirdos that roams aimlessly and experiences feelings of overexcitement, dizziness, curious smells, and ultimate confusion as how there's a "sexy" version of Wolverine, what the hell a Bronie is, why Boba Fett is wearing Fred Flinstone's tunic and why no one is giving a shit about how crazy all of this is.

If you AREN'T going to Comic Con, none of this really matters right now anyway because it's been sold out since before Honey Boo Boo was famous for being shitty, and whole world suddenly cared about Instagram-Videos, Minecraft and Amanda Bynes' stupid nose.

But if you ARE going, please come by my ZEROFRIENDS BOOTH (#5502) and witness all of the BRAND NEW artifacts of awesome that we are shoveling onto your faces (pending the correct exchange of moneys of course:).
Which reminds me, by the way we will be ACCEPTING ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS AT THE CONVENTION BOOTH BECAUSE SQUARE IS AWESOME! So no need to stand behind the sweaty female Ice King at the ATM for an hour this time! Congrats, US! Now lets get on with the showcasing!! Start making your checklist now!

BEFORE YOU GET STARTED, PLEASE NOTE: Our booth number is 5502, which, logically, would be in the 5500 aisle. HOWEVER, there IS NO 5500 aisle. Instead, the 5500 aisle is the FRONT ROW OF BOOTHS. See above, we are actually located in the FRONT RIGHT CORNER of the convention center by all of the flashy video games that I will buy and not have time to play, in row 500/400!! If you get lost, refer to that awesomely clear map above.

Additionally, please follow MY INSTAGRAM (@alexpardee) and  MY TWITTER (@alexpardee) for any unscheduled signings, giveaways, and secrets, as I guarantee there's at least ONE cool announcement and at least 3 pictures of CHLOE and I getting into mischief.


Now that we have that out of the way, here is all of the madness that we are releasing upon your gorgeous face-headlights. Pay close attention, I'm only going to say it once, and then probably a thousand more times on Instagram.
RELEASE THE KRAKENNNNNNNS!!!!! Oh yah, and superhumans DAVE CORREIA & JON WAY$HAK will be singing at the booth, AND we are holding our first Treasure Hunt where there are 100 FREE limited edition signed prints that you can ONLY get by completing the Treasure Hunt. But you have to go to the ZEROFRIENDS BOOTH FIRST to get the details of how to find the treasure!!!

And as usual, we will have a fully stocked gypsy camp worth of our usual gems!