Sunday, June 28, 2009

Handful of shirt....and potatoes

We here at Zerofriends are pretty open-minded when it comes to being creative. We find inspiration in the weirdest places sometimes, whether its the reflection of our faces distorted in the toilet water when we pee, or the dab of ketchup that ends up on our chests as we sloppily molest a burger with our mouths. Or, as an actual example, this candid photo that was snapped during our annual Zerofriends potato feast:

One look at this photo and we all agreed: "FUCK YAH, NEW SHIRT!!!"
Direct link to photo:

And so, I present to you, the "HANDFUL" shirt, a brand new exploration in potato-inspired apparel.


Direct link to purchase the "HANDFUL" shirt:

Detail shot:

And if that isnt enough motivation, we are continuing the tradition of telling stories with our apparel, as the following story about the graphic is printed on the inside of the shirt:)

"I went to school with a kid named Tommy Revenge who had an abnormally large right hand. Not just abnormally large for a 12 year old. Plain old abnormally large. He couldn't wear both gloves so his Mom wrapped his huge hand in a towel when it was cold, but the extra weight made him lose balance a lot. One morning we were all playing chicken with the groundskeeper and his ride-on John Deere like we always did, but Tommy's hand must have weighed a lot that day, because he got real close, and then just collapsed to his right, and fell under the lawnmower blades. Ironically, after the lawnmower completely diced him like a carrot, his huge right hand, the last thing to enter the blades, jammed them, destroying the machine. We always said that at least his last name suited him, as Tommy got his "Revenge". Kinda."

Thank you.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

New Mural Video With Me, Skinner, Jeben Berg & Jason Maloney

Remember that HURLEY mural that i did at the YouTube headquarters a while back along with Skinner, Jeben Berg & Jason Maloney??
Well, Hurley has just put up a nice video of that little production. Enjoy:)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Me = Semi-Epic Walrus Fail

Good morning.
I fail a lot. At a lot of things. Maybe thats why I love watching FailBlog so much, just sitting back feeling so relieved that it's not me (this time). I hate showing anyone my failures (which is why i keep my shirt on most of the time), but i thought this one was funny. I felt all rushed a couple of weeks ago when I had to create a brand new painting to give away for the Walrus Rider signing at Munky King because I was behind on deadlines and not feeling well. So I tried to rush the painting, and within minutes, it tuned into a gallon of turd. So I decided to start over, slow down and take my time. Way better idea. So yah, enjoy the Walrus Rider Epic Fail below.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Sign Of the Devil...

Last week I signed 500 CD's and 100 Vinyls of the new CAGE Album, "Depart From Me" that drops July 7th! The signed copies (signed by both myself and Cage) are exclusive to the pre-orders from DefJux ( ) and there are still some available i think. Here is what I swam in last week. The album is amazing. Freals.

And here is a brand new exclusive peek at some more of the art from the package!!!

Cage is gonna rule the world. Beware.

Eye(suck) candy...

What should you use to prop up the roof of a dilapidated Double-Wide when it starts to sag?
I bring you....A TRAILER POST!

Here are some trailers to some movies I watched this week. And i highly suggest you do the same. Like, pronto. You'll learn a lot. Especially from Olivia Hussey and the Greatest American Hero-man. Enjoy!

Helmets, Barry McGee, Joes, Johns, Huge Heads, and Art Galore

"I bet she gives GREAT Helmet..."
-Rick Moranis

I don't know if you know this, but I'm obsessed with Nip/Tuck. It's one of my favorite shows on TV. In the course of one episode, more plot twists, death, drama, and nipple reduction happens than on an entire season of 24. I'm not joking. I love it. So you can imagine my jizzy surprise a few years ago when I spotted John Hensley's character, Misguided Matt, sporting a shirt that i designed in the Nazi episode! or was it the tranny episode?! Either way, it was awesome randomly seeing something i drew on TV. Flash forward a few years, i work in LA a lot and because LA is super weird and weird shit always happens, I ended up crossing paths with John a few times and became friendly with him, and he's dope. He is ALSO a professional motorcycle racer and can probably out-speed Cykill from the GoBots, which is a tough feat.

Here is John Hensley and I at my Suru art show last year:

Anyway, John Hensley and Joe Hahn (artist, director & dj of Linkin Park) have put together a jaw-dropping art show at SURU and they were kind enough to ask me to be a part of the show. At first, i said "FUCK OFF" because i hear things wrong sometimes and i thought Joe said "will you be a part of me" and I thought he was asking me to marry him. But when he clarified, I was more than honored. The concept of the show is really really dope.

Theres about 15 artists who are all painting original pieces on these custom-made motorcycle helmets hand picked by Joe and John that will be sold for charity. And the best part about the show is the line up of artists. There's artists in this show that I have not only looked up to for years, but never even considered that I would ever show alongside of them, so yes, Joe, i really AM honored. DO NOT FUCK OFF. I mean, Jim Lee(!) Futura, Jesse James, James Jean, Barry (Twist) McGee??!!! Back in 1992 I used to take a bus from Antioch to Concord, then BART to San Francisco (like a 3 hour ride all together) every weekend JUST to walk around SF and see what new Twist characters were floating around town! So ill.

So yah, if you are around the LA area on Sunday, July 12th (or any time after that for a month), come check out the all-day sunday afternoon opening! Here is some more info, as well as a sneak peak at the helmet that I painted for the show. Enjoy.

A Gallery exhibition featuring a body of work from a phenomenal group of artists who have chosen elements from motorcycle culture as their medium.
Sunday, July 12th, 12PM-8PM (show runs through august 16th)
Admission is free.

Hosted By:
John Hensley & Joe Hahn
7662 Melrose Ave
LA, CA 90046

Featured Artists Include:
Barry McGee, Joe Hahn, Mike Shinoda, Mark Dean Veca, Audrey Kawasaki, Jim Lee, James Jean, Stash, Futura, Jesse James, Jeff McMillan, Alex Pardee, Troy Lee, Usugrow, Estevan Oriol, Nathan Cabrera, & Dr. Romanelli!

Here is me painting mine, using my too-big-for-the-helmet head as my easel. And yah, i know my bathroom is cleaner than yours, you don't have to tell me;)

Here is the flyer:

PS: Here is that screenshot from Nip/Tuck:

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Prepare to be skinned....

Skinner is one of my favorite artists and the dude is so prolific and inspirational and he's in Romania right now just making art and hunting vampires which makes me super happy.
If you have never seen his art and are around San Francisco, Skinner has an INCREDIBLE solo show at 111 Minna Gallery right now and you should go check it out. You will either be inspired, or your head will explode. but either way, you'll have fun.
Meanwhile, check out this video that he did for his show. and YES, thats his band, Iguanadon, doing the music. He rips. And draws boners.

Thank you for letting me hug you in person...

Thank you to everyone who came out to my recent signings and release of the Krakken....i mean the release of the Walrus Rider toy! The signings are really fun because I'm usually pretty shy but these give me an excuse to talk to you and it's cool meeting fans, friends, and strangers who don't mind that my nervous sketches look more like my hand turkey drawings than they should.
If you missed the releases, you can still buy the Walrus Rider in select stores, or thru the Loyal Subjects ( or thru Upper Playground (

A HUGE HUGE, MILEY-CYRUS-MOUTH-SIZED THANK YOU to everyone at Upper Playground, The Loyal Subjects, and Munky King for making these events happen and for helping create the Walrus....

Heres a little selection of some photos from the events:

My good friends over at TOYBREAK (a cool, fun Toy Review show) came by the LA signing and ended up reviewing the Walrus Rider on their latest video episode which i embedded below. "Embedding" kind of implies that I forced this video into bed, which, for the record, maybe i DID. but who cares. Check out the review and checl out some of their other episodes OVER AT TOYBREAK


Friday, June 12, 2009

Los Angeles Walrus Signing & Giveaway tomorrow!

If you are around the Grater Los Angeles area tomorrow evening (i say "grater" rather than "greater" because for some reason whenever i go down there my bowels get shredded like pepper jack), make sure you come by my official LA release & signing of my first original vinyl toy, "The Walrus Rider"!

This release & signing is going to be a little epic because I figured since it's on a Saturday night, and there is always a ton of secret weird coke-infested parties going on in Hollywood, I should make it worth your while to come say hi to me and the Walrus.

Like my favorite creepy ice cream man used to say when I was little, "Here's the scoop":

WHEN: Saturday, June 13th (thats tomorrow) @ 6pm-10pm
WHERE: Munky King Gallery @ 7308 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles (
WHAT: Alex Pardee (me) will be signing and selling my new HUGE vinyl toy, "The Walrus Rider" (seen above, blonde chick not included), which was designed by me, and produced by Upper Playground and The Loyal Subjects
WHY: A) Because my beard will be nicely trimmed and seeing it in person might make your blood feel better. B) Because you can be one of the first people to own the WALRUS RIDER, which is limited to 500 pieces worldwide. &C) Because i will scribble on it for you, chat with you, and you have a chance to WIN an ORIGINAL FRAMED PAINTING OF THE WALRUS RIDER!!!
HOW MUCH $$: "The Walrus RIder" will be $75 to purchase

ADDITIONAL DETAILS: Every person who purchases a Walrus Rider Toy will be entered in a raffle that will be held at the end of the signing @ 10pm. The winner of the raffle will WIN an original painting done by me of the Walrus Rider! (winner MUST be present at the time of the RAFFLE DRAWING!!!)
Also, we are also releasing an ultra-limited Giclee print of the Walrus Rider painting as well, signed and numbered by me. Here is a pic of the FRAMED ORIGINAL PAINTING that you can WIN, as well as the Giclee print, that has a little extra flavor added to it;)

The painting is 20" x 16" and done with watercolor and ink.

The Limited Giclee Print, which is an edition of 30, signed and numbered by me.

So yah, come on down to Munky King tomorrow and say hi. YOU DONT HAVE TO BUY ANYTHING TO SAY HI OR GET STUFF SIGNED:)

And check out how big this thing is! (photos from my recent SF release/singing)

See you there!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Who's hoooouuuse?? Zack's house.

Look who's now the proud owner of my "Secondmen" painting!!?

Why, of COURSE it's Zack Snyder, Director "Watchmen", "300" and one of my favorite remakes, "Dawn Of the Dead"!

Zack is dope, as I got a chance to meet him last week and seriously geek out on some stuff. I'm sure I probably Urkel-ed the fuck out of him, asking a ton of questions in a geeky voice, all about how the studio let him do DAWN they way he did, the reception of Watchmen, Gerard Butlers ABS! (note, ohmygodholyshit they were REAL and he SAW THEM!!!) and a ton of other stuff. But in true professional fashion, he was gracious as hell and not only chatted with me about everything, but talked to me a lot about his next projects, including a dark animated film about owls and an awesome secret project. we had a blast (at least i hope we did. haha) He (as well as his whole production team) is super supportive of us weirdo artists and it was really refreshing. If only someone didn't already fuck up the Day Of the Dead remake I would have begged to be a PA on that shit just to eat some flesh in the background.

So my final review of Zack: 9/10. I would have given him a 10 but he was in sweats!! It's impossible to get a 10 in sweats!

30 Original Paintings for sale!!

Well, this is kind of a bittersweet entry into blogdom as I sit here watching Labyrinth (the prequel to Pan's Labyrinth where the girl, instead of being a nice little imaginative girl, is a terrible teenager and says "I HATE YOU!" to babies) and thinking about how much time i DON'T have to meet certain deadlines that are rapidly approaching. But that's not your problem. Nor is the fact that a severe, hippy-punching storm attacked the opening night to my solo show in Portland causing a lot of people (except the amazingly supportive local crowd) to stay indoors instead of outdoors where they would have surely been ass-raped by winds and hail.

So what am I getting at? Well, I have been extremely fortunate and appreciative in the past year or so to actually be able to sell some artwork in an economy where people aren't even buying porn. Being able to put together some cool art shows with affordable pieces has been really well-accepted in general, and simultaneously has helped pay the bills too. So 2 hours before the doors opened to my new show, when the city-wide storm warnings literally told people to stay inside their houses and NOT COME OUT AT ALL BECAUSE THEY WILL DIE, I got a little bummed. In the end, though, the rain let up and people showed up and I sold some art and i had an amazing show. Whenever I sell art, even if its one piece, its good news. But now for the better news: because not much sold at the opening, now everyone else who is not in the Pacific Northwest can get a chance to view/purchase some of my original art.

You can check out the entire price list and images for the show by clicking HERE or by going to the direct link:

To purchase or inquire about any of the pieces, email or call 503.548.4835.

Oh, and you can see some of the framing on some of the pieces in my previous post, HERE

Direct link:

Thank you for checking out the art:)
Jason Voorhees and I will see you in Denver in like 6 weeks!

Download a High Rez Missing Poster HERE!

Damn, i had no idea you guys would wanna help spread these around, but thats rad. Here is a link to download a, 8.5 x 11" high rez poster if you want to print one out for yourself.
Have fun!

link to download:

Have You Seen Him??

Apparently, there is a very pissed off little friend, who used to have golden legs that could make him do ANYTHING. Then, some motherfucker rufied him and STOLE his golden legs! So, to exact his revenge, our friend jumped on the back of his pet walrus screaming into the sunset, and has now gone MISSING.

Thanks to the army over at"The Loyal Subjects", awareness of this important issue is being raised all over LA. We need to find this dude before he just decides to kidnap The Pope's legs, or even worse for you LA dudes, Kobe Bryants legs (gasp!)

Check it, and i have a good feeling we will find him (but probably not his legs) by this saturday. I'll tell you why in a few hours.


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tons of photos from my PDX Art Opening...

My recent solo show, "Self Portraits Of Other People", opened last thursday in Portland @ Upper Playground amidst city wide storm and tornado warnings, which scared off a lot of people in the beginning of the show, but after the storm let up, the locals came rain-dancing out from the donut shops and strip clubs to show their support. Thank you to everyone who came out and weathered the madness. I had a blast. Enough rambling, I will let the photos do the chattering:

The entrance...

The Zerofriends Crew, as usual, helped me a TON with the set up of the show, and I returned the favor by being fat and falling over in the only picture we took together.

As people started showing up, I freaked out. Nothing new.

I signed cards...

I signed prints...

Man, I signed so much shit...I mean SHIRTS! I signed so many SHIRTS!

Artist Martin Ontiveros, who had an amazing 2-man show with Skinner last year, came through, and out of the 4 photos we took, this is the only one that came out, further proving that Blade hunts him on a regular basis.

One of my new acrylic paintings surrounded by some babies.

With Portland being all woodsy n' shit, I figured, "why not show the Night Of The Treeple video?" Btw, looking directly into the blue projection bulb for 4 seconds makes everyone's face a complete blue circle for the next 2 hours. Which, in turn, makes it WAY easier to talk to strangers. I highly suggest it next time you speak in public.

The original "Night of the Treeple" line art.

This is how you fancily drink juice at your own opening when youre too pussy to drink beer.

And speaking of BEERds, my new homie DangerEhren from Jackass came by to show me that not only is HIS beard is way better, but that his FACE is way funnier. I have some catching up to do.

It doesn't matter one bit that I have no idea who most of these girls are. What matters is that they showed up. Good work, Portland female race.

Obligatory crowd shot part 1: A New Hope.

Obligatory crowd shot part 2: Secret of the Ooze

The wall of continuing horror...

If you're gonna steal the walrus, you have to HIDE it, not just pretend you are breastfeeding it.

Illustrator/furniture guru Blaine Fontana was craving the salt I store in my ear.

And artist Damon Soule, who is seriously on some next level shit with his work, came by to show his support and share my uncomfortableness. I was stoked to finally meet Damon. Been a fan of his work for years.

And a detailed wall shot to close out the night...

Thank you Portland. I loved your donuts, your grilled cheeses, your cheap bars, your trannies, and your odd smells. I will come back soon.

If you are around portland, the show will be up for viewing for the next 2 months, so go check it if you get a chance.
Upper Playground, @ 5th & Couch st. Portland.

Some of the paintings are still available to purchase. Look for a post very soon about the available pieces.